In my previous (now removed) post, I described the ups and downs (and ins and outs) of 2010. In this post, I'm sticking to the stats. Numbers don't lie...but what exactly do these ones mean anyway? You be the judge. Then I will, by giving out awards for categories you won't see on any other end-of-year lists!
*** 2010 ***
Number of:
Posts: 153
New lovers: Eight
Breakups: Five (Slump Buster x 3, Honey Buns, and New Dude)
Blow Jobs: Innumerable.
Orgasms: Somewhere in the triple digits.
Orgasms in a Single Sex Session: Twelve? (Last night. The Baconator. One for each year I didn't have a date on New Year's Eve!)
First Dates: Don't Ask.
Online Dating Services Tried: Five (Match, eHarmony, OK Cupid, Plenty Of Fish, MeetLocals)
Emails Received on Match.com: Unknown. I stopped responding after #200.
Men That Sent Me Cock Shots: Three (Playboy, New Dude, and Paul Bunyan)
Boyfriends (according to me): Four (Slump Buster,
Honey Buns, New Dude, The Baconator)
Boyfriends (according to them): One (New Dude)
Men who said "I Love You": One (New Dude)
Men I said "I Love You" to: Zero
Pregnancy Scares: One (Slump Buster)
Computer Viruses: Three
STDs: Zero, zilch, nada.
Items Lost at Lovers' Homes: Two (a rock at Slump Buster's and a bow-tie thong at Paul Bunyan's. Ahem, fellas. I'd like those back!)
Business Trips (which included some guilty pleasures): Two (Portland and Denver)
Award-Winning Poems Inspired By Slump Buster: One ("Untitled for L")
Published Poems Inspired By New Dude: One ("Words Caught Crossways in a Woman's Throat")
New Followers: 500 (Facebook) 90 (Foodbuzz) 50 (Networked Blogs)
Rock Star Guest Chef Interviews: Thirteen
Concerts Attended: 150 (approximate)
Most Frequently Ogled Band: Pictures of Then (Five concerts)
Containers of Parkers Farm Peanut Butter Consumed: 100 (approximate)
Hours spent exercising to burn off peanut butter belly: 848 (the equivalent of 35 days. Wow.)
Awards for:
Best Blog Subject: Slump Buster
Worst Blog Subject: Any who I dated and didn't bother to write about on this site!
Biggest Package: The Baconator
Best First Date: Paul Bunyan
Worst First Date: Coach
Best Male Lover: You didn’t really think I was going to answer that, did you?!
Worst Male Lover: Honey Buns
Best Female Lover: Duh. There was only one. And she was only good in the beginning.
Worst Female Lover: Ditto. Fingernail up the ass. 'Nuf said.
Best Cock Shot: Playboy
Worst Cock Shot: Only those I didn't receive!
Biggest Surprise: Meeting New Dude.
Biggest Disappointment: A tie between Slump Buster’s pseudo proposal and my broken foot.
Best Edible Gift: New Dude's Blueberry Pie
Worst Edible Gift: New Dude's Blueberry Bread
Saddest Goodbye: My poodle, Tito.
Most Popular Recipe (Savory): Happy Accident Pepperoni Bread
Least Popular Recipe (Savory): Gyros
Most Popular Recipe (Sweet) : Kiss of Death Rice Krispies Bars
Least Popular Recipe (Sweet): Disappointing Oat Balls
Most Popular Ingredient: Bananas (Gee, I wonder why...)
Least Popular Ingredient: Anchovies
Is that TMI? Good. If catching up on those juicy posts didn't satisfy you, there's plenty more if you click on the the Most Popular Posts tag.
As for 2011 missives? You'll just have to wait and see... :) 'Til then, my interpretation of 2010 can be summed up in one song. Happy New Year, dahlings!
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